Monday, October 11, 2010

Thanksgiving at the Hospital

Well I spent most of the day yesterday at the Hospital, I didn't get home until about 7:45pm, which I guess is about the same time I would have been getting home from work anyway but thats not really the point. This is the 2nd Thanksgiving in a row that I have spent a lot of it in the hospital. Thanksgiving last year I was having dinner at the hospital in the palliative care unit where my Grandfather ( we called him "P") was resting. I guess resting would be the best word, he wasn't really being treated, the palliative care unit is where patients who are close to the end are sent to be kept comfortable.

At that time I was still going to the unit for dialysis, I remember a day or so before going up to see him while he was still talking some. The last thing I remember him saying to me is to never give up. That it was his time because he was old and he had lived life, but that I was still young and he didn't want me to give him, to keep fighting. He was sorry I had to go through this but to just not give up. This has really stuck with me, but at times it is difficult and tiring to keep doing what I'm doing. I have to push myself to not let him down to not just give up to stay on top of things and not let this drag me down like it has the last few weeks.

I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, my arm is going to start being used instead of my line. This is because of the last few weeks, my line just doesn't work anymore, they say it's probably because fibers have simply grown over the end over the last 4 months. The positive to this negative is that I will have to start using my arm, and the line in my chest will be removed. I'll be able to shower again instead of sponge bath, even swim if I want. Overall this is a good move forward.

I'm not going to let you down P

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