Monday, January 31, 2011

I have to poop in a hat

I went back out to the hospital today. The reason being I had an issue with my upper needle again last night. Guess what? It's not just me, the nurses there also had issues, it just feels different right now. I have to go back out to the hospital Wednesday for what is called a fistulagram. For this they inject a dye into my fistula with what I have been told is a large needle and then using an X-ray watch the way it flows, just to make sure there isn't anything wrong.

My theory of what is causing the problem is that over the last week I have not eaten much, so as such I have lost weight, but this has not been compensated for in my dry weight so I have more fluid on than normal and this changes the way the veins react. Wednesday I will also be doing another dialysis treatment at the hospital so hopefully we will be able to get most of the extra fluid off.

The other item of concern today was my Hemoglobin. It's too low. This is why I need to make my next 3 doodies in a plastic hat. The Doctor wants to make sure I'm not bleeding from my insides. I said I'm certain I'm not as I think that is something I would notice during my post movement inspection, but she said they still need the test done. They gave me the plastic hat, and 3 specimen bottles with a mini spork built into the lid to scoop shit up.

I've already ran into a few issues, one is the hat simply is not labeled correctly. It's rounded on one side and flat on the other. The rounded side is labeled as the front. This doesn't work though because the front is where my front boy parts are, and I don't poop from there. If I'd place it on the commode the way it instructs me to, there would be no samples. Issue number two (lol #2) is it's simply too shallow, there is no depth. I'm a man, and I make King Size Mr. Big bars not tinny Twix bars. Needless to say this causes somewhat of a log jam. I've done one sample, and I have two left, I'm hoping maybe for a twofer tomorrow to get this all done.


Saturday, January 29, 2011

Second trip to the hospital

As instructed I tried to give myself my needles here again today. No luck, I was just coughing too much and too shaky to get the needles in. I ended up going to the main Dialysis unit to have my treatment and then I will be trying again here at home Sunday night. I was told I can take cough medicine with codeine so that is what I'm taking now. So far that seems to be going ok and I am coughing much less.

At the hospital I ended up having 7 needles, so my arm is rather sore at the moment. My Hemoglobin was tested and it was 77, which is super low normal is somewhere over 100, my last blood work which was about 2 weeks ago I was at 97. Wikipedia Defines Hemoglobin as
Hemoglobin (also spelled haemoglobin and abbreviated Hb or Hgb) is the iron-containing oxygen-transport metalloprotein in thered blood cells of all vertebrates[1] (except the fish family Channichthyidae[2] ) and the tissues of some invertebrates. Hemoglobin in the blood is what transports oxygen from the lungs or gills to the rest of the body (i.e. the tissues) where it releases the oxygen for cell use, and collects carbon dioxide to bring it back to the lungs.
I've been told if it's too low you get really tired and lethargic. I'm on medication to keep it up, but right now it's low.

Hemoglobin should not be confused with the Hemo-Goblin a soon to be created Super villain in the Marvel universe that steals the red blood cells from blood bank blood, but with a real goal of getting some of Peter Parker's radioactive red blood cells. (Marvel please contact me to negotiate publishing rights)

Thats about all I was told, besides get some rest. I guess there is a nasty bug going around, maybe because of my other problems it simply hit me harder.


Friday, January 28, 2011

I did something that I never thought I'd do tonight....

I broke down, I fucking lost it weeping tears and all. That didn't even happen when I was denied a Kidney in November. But I guess being so sick for the past week, having a hard time to catch my breath, the stress I put on myself to force myself to go to work tomorrow and trying to get my needles in for an hour took its tole.

Last night I went to the ER, even though there was a person taken out of order from me (I was told that I should have gone in before this person and the triage nurse didn't know why the ER nurses took here first) I was only there about 2 hours. The doctors did a ultrasound of my chest to make sure there wasn't any fluid around my heart and lungs and a chest X-ray to make sure there was nothing inside they missed. Everything was good, even though I was coughing so much that my limbs were tingly and I felt faint. I was told it's probably viral and maybe a bit of Bronchitis. I was told there was nothing they could give me, except maybe some codeine to help me sleep. I refused because I said I need to be alert because of my dialysis. They said get some cough medicine then. On the way home I bought some Buckley's DM. This stuff is like doing shots of Dragon Semen, it burns like crazy. It's kind of a rush.

Everything started out ok tonight, the setup went good, I was a little nervous because I did have issues Wednesday night too, and have been having issues getting the needles in since I got ill Sunday. I was trying not to think about it though and trying to just focus on the moment. I was so focused that the cough that I have had, that is just continual, only seconds between fits to catch my breath actually stopped while I was putting the first needle in.

I wasn't coughing, so I attempted the first needle. Normally in this lower spot there is a little pressure required but it slides right in after a moment. It didn't. I spent a good 15-20 minutes trying to get it in, fishing it as they say. At one point I thought it went in, there was a give and it went further in, all the way in actually. I pulled back on the syringe, and nothing. The dull needle I guess just ripped it's way through my flesh. I gave up on that needle I pulled it out, put a little pressure on the hole, but there was nothing coming.

Normally I this point I'd go for the sharp but decided to try another dull because in the past I have seen one dull not work and then using another work, I guess the first just gets it started. The 2nd one to my surprise went right in. WTF?

Feeling confident at this point I cleaned by upper spot and went for it. First some background on this upper spot. It has two "problems" for lack of a better word. I'm not all that fit, my arms are a little flabby so there is more flesh for the dull needle to go through. I actually find this to be a good thing though because to me this says there is only 1 way to go, and the tunnel that he developed through the flesh leads right to the vein. Not tonight. In this spot the needle normally enters the vein with about 1/3rd of the needle still outside, I hit this point and it just kept going so I leveled off because I thought I was in. Nope, nothing so once again the dull tore through flesh that it shouldn't have.

I tried 3 dull needles, about an average of 10 minutes each just fishing. Pulling the needle back some, but not all the way out and then twisting it through my arm. At this point all the freezing that I had put on, now 2 hours ago was gone. I gave up on dulls and went for a sharp. I haven't had to use a sharp in this spot since my training. This is where we come to the 2nd problem with this spot. This actually is a problem. There is a 2nd vein that is not part of the fistula running along/over the fistula vein. When I went in with the sharp, this is what I hit. It hurt like hell, taking it out hurt like hell.

At this point I had had enough. I felt like shit, I was stressed about having to go to work tomorrow and now not knowing what to do because I was not able to do my dialysis tonight, so that meant I'd have to do it tomorrow, my arm had a splitting pain going through it and everything just came crashing down. The room was spinning, I was coughing again and hyperventilating because of it I had a huge hole in my art from trying to get needle into it, luckily it wasn't bleeding. With some help I got myself calmed down. I called the after hours nurse and I'm to try doing my dialysis here again tomorrow, and if I can't get it done tomorrow call again and take things from there.

So now I've called in sick again, for the 5th time this week. I still feel horrible and my fluid will be up even more tomorrow morning. I'm not feeling confident about tomorrow morning. At this point I just want two things, to not be sick anymore and to have a kidney. I guess you don't always get what you want.

(I never proof read this it's too long, so live with it.)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

It's been a while

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because everything has been going well, nothing really to talk about. Giving myself needles has become akin to eating vegetables. I don't like doing it. Well except I do give myself needles I don't eat icky vegetables.

I've been SO sick over the past 5 days though, and if giving myself needles when I feel good sucks balls, giving myself needles when I feel like I just got hit by the H1N1 bus sucks major goat balls. Yeah, its that bad. I'm having chills and I'm coughing so staying still to get the needles in is not all the easy.

Last night I needed to use one sharp in my bottom hole (that could sound bad if taken out of context) and had issue with the top one, I got it in, but pressures were high the whole night, well until I got off, I got connected around 6 so that I could get off early and sleep the rest of the night.

On the lighter side I found out through google analytics that the search string "Fucking Dialysis" in google brings my blog as the #1 hit. Yay me. So my challenge now is to make "Dialysis sucks balls" to be #1 too, right now I'm number 2 under an N4G forum post, thats a gaming website so they don't deserve the #1 spot.


Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Setup: A 2nd Pictorial

How I took these pictures
To get these pictures I used my Joby Gorillapod SLR with ballhead mounted on top of the IV poll of my Dialysis machine. Yes I guess it is useful for something other than hanging bags of Saline. I used my remote shutter release and set a 10 second timer to catch the action as it was happening. I hope you enjoyed them.


Friday, January 7, 2011

Being on 30 Rock = Getting a Kidney Transplant?

Over the last 4 months not one, not two, ok well it was two. Two actors on the hit NBC comedy series created by the very funny and oddly attractive Tina Fey have had kidney transplants. You have to ask yourself what sort of coincidence is that? What's going on over there that two people have had to have transplants and did have transplants.

First it was the Grizz, played by Actor Grizz Chapman. He had a Kidney transplant, donated by a complete stranger. Basically a complete stranger wanted to donate a kidney to somebody and it ended up being the Grizz. Thats Grizzy. Next up was Tracy Jordan, played by the always funny and surprising that he is 42 Tracy Morgan. He had been suffering from Diabetes for years and all the drinking and ankle bracelets finally got the best of him and he needed a kidney replaced.

My theory is if you need a kidney transplant, get on 30 Rock because that show is a one way ticket to Kidney Transplantopia. My goal now is to get on 30 Rock to get a Kindey transplant, all I need is Tina Fey's contact info and I think I can schmooze my way on, give her the old Owen eye wink and lip lick charm.


Thursday, January 6, 2011

Urinating is overrated... or is it?

As I've mentioned before, I can no longer pass urine. Now while this medically is not a good thing, it opens up the opportunity to excel at other ventures. I like to play video games for example, and I play them online. While other plays will have to stop and leave the game to pee, I can just keep on rocking because I don't have to worry about it. The only thing that may stop me a bowel movement but I get my fiber so I'm pretty regular on that side of things.

Other things I can do is a Lord of the Rings marathon, and I'm not talking the theatrical cuts, no sir, I can marathon the 4 hour extended ones all in 1 sitting not every having to leave the couch. Hell I can make it through whole Star-Wars saga. None stop, right through and not have to leave to pee. Going to the movies, I don't have to worry for sure, I can drink their 20 liter XXL drink and still no pee.

Thats the problem though, anything I drink, it just doesn't really go anywhere, it just keeps building up around my body. A lot of it goes to my lower legs and feet, but also my face, my double chin gets bigger. It's not really urine because I don't produce any, I guess it's more just water.

I'd still trade all day Star-Wars marathons for a properly working kidney and having to pee every 10 minutes like a girl.