Monday, January 31, 2011

I have to poop in a hat

I went back out to the hospital today. The reason being I had an issue with my upper needle again last night. Guess what? It's not just me, the nurses there also had issues, it just feels different right now. I have to go back out to the hospital Wednesday for what is called a fistulagram. For this they inject a dye into my fistula with what I have been told is a large needle and then using an X-ray watch the way it flows, just to make sure there isn't anything wrong.

My theory of what is causing the problem is that over the last week I have not eaten much, so as such I have lost weight, but this has not been compensated for in my dry weight so I have more fluid on than normal and this changes the way the veins react. Wednesday I will also be doing another dialysis treatment at the hospital so hopefully we will be able to get most of the extra fluid off.

The other item of concern today was my Hemoglobin. It's too low. This is why I need to make my next 3 doodies in a plastic hat. The Doctor wants to make sure I'm not bleeding from my insides. I said I'm certain I'm not as I think that is something I would notice during my post movement inspection, but she said they still need the test done. They gave me the plastic hat, and 3 specimen bottles with a mini spork built into the lid to scoop shit up.

I've already ran into a few issues, one is the hat simply is not labeled correctly. It's rounded on one side and flat on the other. The rounded side is labeled as the front. This doesn't work though because the front is where my front boy parts are, and I don't poop from there. If I'd place it on the commode the way it instructs me to, there would be no samples. Issue number two (lol #2) is it's simply too shallow, there is no depth. I'm a man, and I make King Size Mr. Big bars not tinny Twix bars. Needless to say this causes somewhat of a log jam. I've done one sample, and I have two left, I'm hoping maybe for a twofer tomorrow to get this all done.


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