Thursday, May 26, 2011

You get used to things not working

So once again today after a while of things working ok, they didn't work again. I ended up back at the hospital today for another procedure. I needed to have an angioplasty done on my fistula. Today it was dine three times, that means a tinny balloon was inflated in my vessel 3 times. It's not the best feeling in the world, and the guide wire being inserted into the veign doesn't feel the greatest either.

But whatever, I've gotten used to things not going my way. I've come to expect the worse and if there is a better outcome then I'm hesitant to accept that it's positive until I'm sure of it. Today the procedure seems to have worked. The fistula is working again, I still need to go back to the hospital tomorrow and apparently these procedures are not always permanent. So just like many other times over the years things look like they are going to work out, but I really doubt it.

There has been countless time of this, the more recent being back in November I was called for a transplant, and then when I got there was turned away. Just one more thing. I really just don't even notice the disappointment anymore, I'm just used to it.


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